A common misconception is that fear is the greatest motivator. We see this everywhere around us and it is the basis for a lot of the concepts around which countries, governments, companies and relationships are built and run.
Even though fear is a very good motivator, it’s definitely not the greatest! The part where it fails is that once the fear factor (rejection, famine, poverty, injury, death) is removed, the source of motivation always goes away. Furthermore, the person never wants to go back to that point in time or circumstances where they were motivated out of fear.
In a less extreme example, getting a job out of fear of poverty or famine will always make you miserable in the long run. I’m talking about all the people, who solely decide what job to go after, based on the money they will be getting as a salary. Sooner or later the fear is gone, so they start feeling unhappy and depressed and look for a change in career.
A sadder example are all the countries and families and companies, which are built around and driven by fear.
The real source of motivation is love. The type of love which you feel towards your friends and family. The type of love which makes you happy just by doing something you like – drawing, driving, coding. If you try to build your relationships around love, they will last longer and actually make you happy. And when the going gets tough, it will be much easier for you to push through and get to the other side without hurting yourself or someone else. And just like anything else, this kind of attitude can be cultivated, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
And the place to start is loving yourself! Accept all your shortcomings and build up from there.